Back to Before
by LassieloftheWoodlandRealm
Summary: Ziva recieves some startling news and has to go back to Israel. First story!
1. Chapter 1

Back To December

Ziva was sitting at her desk in the MCRT bullpen. The team didn't have a case and she had already finished all of her paperwork for the moment. It was only noon. She was about to leave for lunch when a man entered the bullpen. It was Malachi.

"Ziva," he called out. She looked up as did the rest of her team. "I…"

"Malachi, what are you doing here?" She sounded angry. The rest of the team looked it. Gibbs looked about ready to shoot him and Tony and McGee were ready to jump to her aid at a moment's notice.

"I know you do not want to see me, but I must give you this," He handed her an envelope. Her name was written on the front of it in what looked to be her father's handwriting. She opened it.

_Ziva,_

_Thank you for actually reading this letter. How are you and how it your team? I haven't seen either of you since you all saved my life. I still am appreciative of that. I hope you are good and I know that that agency is making good use of your talents. I hope the weather is as good in DC as it can be. But, look at me I am stalling. I know you probably do not want to read this letter, but I am glad that you are. You see, I gave specific instructions to give this letter to you only if I was dead, and if you are reading this that must be the case. I hope that you will come to the funeral, but I do not have high hopes that you will. I hurt you, very badly, and I hope you know that was not my intention. Throughout your training I was trying to strengthen you, make you strong enough to handle everything. I wanted you, Ziva, to become a powerful woman in this world, not another man's door mat. You showed me love and affection, and I fazed it all out and never showed them same to you. I realize now that that was a mistake. On the inside, I was pained because I couldn't show you affection. On the inside, Ziva, I was so very proud of you, so very proud to call you my daughter. I also need to tell you that I did look for you while you were in Somalia. I am just not as good as your team at NCIS. All I am trying to say to you, Zivalah, is that I am so sorry. I look back on your childhood and only feel pain in my heart for not treating you better. I should have done that and I am sorry I didn't. I sent you to America all those years ago to strengthen you further, but now I realize that it was the final step to losing you completely. I am so very sorry, Ziva, and I do understand if you do not want to come the he funeral. But please, as a dead man's final wish, please find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me._

_Love,_

_Your father_

"Oh my…" Ziva trailed off with tear stains on her cheeks.

"Ziver?" Gibbs called to her questioningly. She looked up at him. "What's happened?"

"He is dead Gibbs," Ziva was barely able to choke out. "E… my father is dead." She finished with a sob and Gibbs held her as she cried. "I… I have to go to the funeral, Gibbs. I do not care how much you object to it, but I am going."

"I know," He responded. "And we're going with you." Tim and Tony, who had made their way to stand by Ziva's desk, nodded in agreement.

"I am sorry, Agent Gibbs, but you cannot do that," Malachi objected. Ziva jumped slightly because she had forgotten he was there. "I have strict orders from Mossad. If Ziva is to come back she is to be under Mossad protection at all times. If she must, she can bring one escort."

"But… I… Please Malachi," she pathetically begged.

Malachi looked at her. He had never, emphasis on ever, seen her look this sad. Hell, he had never even seen her cry. "I'm sorry Ziva. It was your father's last wishes. I cannot disobey them."

"Alright, I will not argue," On shaking legs, she stood. "I am going to go down and talk to Abby and Ducky, they deserve to know. I do not want to choose who comes with me. Can you please decide amongst yourselves who. I do want one of you to some but… I do not want to choose only one." She fled from the bullpen and headed towards the elevator. Malachi followed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Abby?" Ziva called into the lab. Her eyes were red but for the moment, the tears had stopped.

"Hey Ziva," Abby called out. "I don't think Gibbs had a case, so you must be down here because you missed me!"

"Not exactly Abbs," Abby had finally come over to look at her. She saw her red eyes and gasped.

"Ziva what happened. Everyone's okay right?" She went into panic mode.

"It has nothing to do with the team." She took a deep breath. "Abby, my father, he is dead."

"Oh my God! Ziva I'm…" She couldn't finish. She enveloped Ziva in a hug as small tears made their way down her friend's face. "I can't tell you how sorry I am. I mean, I know he ordered you to kill your brother and sent you on a suicide mission and all but still, I mean, he was your dad, and I know how bad I felt when my dad died and… Oh Ziva I'm so sorry."

"It's alright Abbs," Ziva replied as she stepped away from her friend, "and thank you. I'm going to be gone for a while and so will one of the men upstairs; I'm just not sure which."

"What do you…"

"The funeral is in Israel and I can only bring one person. Gibbs is deciding for me who is going with me because I could not. I know he will choose himself, Tony, or Tim for the protection part of it. I am sorry you are not able to go Abby,"

"Ziva do not be apologizing right now. That's not your job," She finally noticed the man standing in the doorway, "What is he doing here?"

"Yes, well, Malachi is my escort to Israel," She leaned in and whispered, "Not my choice."

"I see, I don't like him," Abby blatantly put.

"You know I can here you right?" Malachi stated.

"Yup."

"Sorry Abbs, but I got to go and get ready. I will see you soon," And with one last hug she left the room with Malachi on her heels.


	3. Chapter 3

Back to before chapter 3

After Ziva left for Abby's lab, a debate was started.

"Ok, I am the one who is going with Ziva," Gibbs declared.

"I don't think you should, Gibbs," Tony argued, "I think I should go with her."

"And why is that, Tony?"

"Well…"

"I think I should go," McGee interrupted.

"Yeah, over my dead body, McGoo," Tony countered.

"Hey," Gibbs slapped both of them to get them to shut up.

"Sorry, Boss," They grumbled in unison.

"Agent Gibbs," Jenny came down from her office, "what is the meaning of all of the commotion?"

"Ziva's father died and she can only take one escort to Israel with her," Tony started.

"So she asked us to decide for her," McGee continued.

"And I said I should go but these to numb-skulls don't seem to agree with that," Gibbs finished offensively.

"Well then fine, I'll decide," Jenny took charge, "Gibbs, why should you go?"

"Because I am the boss, and her father figure in this country," Gibbs explained.

"McGee?"

"Well, I'm a friend. She needs friendly comfort at the moment. I mean, she went to talk to Abby about this but didn't say anything about telling Ducky…"

"That's because Ducky's not here, McGeek," Tony interrupted.

"Oh, well either way, she was looking for friendly comfort, not fatherly comfort."

"Ok, Tony?"

Well, like McGiggle said, Ziva needs friendly comfort. Sorry, Boss, but I think comfort from a father wouldn't be the best at this point in time. But, unlike McGee, I've been to Israel, I've meet the people, and I wouldn't be afraid of the like McWeakling over here," Tony concluded with a smile.

"Although it was offensive, Tony's right. He should be the one going to Israel with Ziva," jenny concluded.

"And I agree," Ziva said. They were all too interested in their debated to notice that Ziva had come back up to the bullpen with Malachi. "Tony, is going with me then?"

"Yup, that's right Ziver," Gibbs walked over to her. "You ok with that?"

"Of course, I trust him," She smiled at him. "I will see you all next week then, yes?"

"Yeah you will, Ziver," Gibbs came over and wrapped her in a hug followed by a kiss on the top of her head. "Be careful ok?"

"Ok Gibbs," She smiled at him and, with some final goodbyes, she and Tony left the building with Malachi trailing closely behind.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: Sorry I haven't posted in… well a really long time. I had major writers block and a few personal issues getting in the way. If you're still interested in reading this, thank you and I will try to update more regularly. DISCLIAMER (cause I forget it in the first chapter) I do not own NCIS (although if I did…) nor do I own the Taylor swift song I was originally basing this off of (not so much anymore). **

Three hours later, the three agents were on the way to Israel in the small private jet Mossad had provided for them. Malachi was on one end of the jet with his cell phone by his ear. He was constantly talking in rapid Hebrew to, who Ziva assumed, were other Mossad operatives awaiting their arrival. Tony and Ziva sat on the opposite end sitting on two leather couches that were facing each other. Tony had pulled out his laptop and started watching a movie leaving Ziva to herself. He continued to steal glances at her over his computer to make sure she was alright. Ziva hadn't moved at all since the beginning of the flight. She was still in shock from the news and could still not believe it was true. A single tear managed to escape from her eye and slither down her cheek. It was stopped by Tony's thumb gently wiping it away.

"Hey," He whispered to her in a soothing voice. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really," She replied as wiped a hand across her eyes roughly trying to stop any more tears from falling.

"You know, I know what you're going through," He said as he put an arm around her shoulders. "My mom died when I was sixteen."

"Tony, my mom died too," Ziva replied trying to get him to shut up.

"I know but what you don't know is," He paused for a moment to collect himself. "My father died too, a month ago. That's why I was gone for that week."

"Oh, Tony," Ziva turned to face him. "Why did you not tell me?"

"We were busy. The week I got back we got that huge case," Tony sighed. "I didn't want to distract anyone. We need to catch that guy," He sighed and turned to her. "The point of me telling you this was not for you to feel sorry for me. It was to let you know that I understand what you're going through and that I'm here for you. That is if you want to talk. I won't force you to."

"Thank you Tony," Ziva leaned over a lightly kissed his cheek. "And I am sorry for your loss."

"It's alright," Tony got her to lay her head on his shoulder. "Sleep, I know you haven't gotten a good night's sleep in a while cause of that last case." Ziva nodded slowly as she drifted off to sleep.


End file.
